This will be one of the hardest posts to write but also the most important post I will probably ever write on this blog. It has to do with our past and our future, our mistakes and the vision the Lord has given us. How do I start? I will just start with the truth and then explain.
We have been on a journey the past 2 years with selling our farm in Washington, buying a home in Iowa to finding ourselves selling it a year later and returning to Washington to buy a home on a lake. My husband and I have made our biggest mistake in our marriage together in doing all of this. Thank God it was a big mistake together and not against each other like adultery. But, it’s still a big mistake. The Lord has shown us these past months that He wanted us to buy a very modestly priced home. It was His plan from the beginning and He gave us another opportunity after buying the home in Iowa to do so.
I don’t know any other way to say it than I am so ashamed and embarrassed to be in this home. It is not us. It does not represent who we are on the inside. I always felt we lived in homes that were a bit too much for us anyways, this one only brings me shame. Shame because we could be helping so many people in dire situations if we didn’t live in this home. I cannot tell you the people that we love that God has shown us we could be helping right now. It hurts us very much. We have come to a place over these months without the internet or distractions that the most important thing in our lives until the end is to help others and do some small family farming. I believe God has given us a spirit of giving. I have never felt such an urgency to want to go and help my brothers and sisters in Christ as I do now. It is a beautiful feeling but it has an urgency to it that cannot be fulfilled here.
God has given us an opportunity with this home to be able to live the vision and dream that He has put before us in helping others. The owner of this home had the home listed at one time for nearly 4 times of what we paid for it. He had potential buyers for this home but loved the home so much we have been told, that he did not want to sell it. He would chase the buyers away. We are going to sell this home for double of what we paid for it. We will then in turn be able to buy a home cash, paid off with no mortgage ever again, with the profit. We know the home will sell because we know for certain the Lord is in it.
One day last October while my husband was downstairs, he shared that the Lord told him what to sell the home for. He said that if I said the same price, He would know for sure it was from the Lord. I shared the price that had been on my mind all morning and he shouted, “That’s exactly it.” We both rejoiced because we needed to really know the Lord was in it. God has given us many other confirmations that this is His will for us and our children.
I want to share a verse the Lord gave me one day a few months ago about us buying this home:
“Woe to him that coveteth an evil covetousness to his house, that he may set his nest on high, that he may be delivered from the power of evil! Thou hast consulted shame to thy house by cutting off many people, and hast sinned against thy soul. For the stone shall cry out of the wall, and the beam out of the timber shall answer it.” Hab 2:9-11
God showed us that we wanted to be delivered from the inconveniences in life in buying this home. We thought it would be practical with it’s size and the children could spread out here and give us rest. In buying this home we have cut off many people that God wanted us to help. Living in a modestly priced home would teach our children so much more. They would learn things that are priceless compared to us living here. Visiting our brothers and sisters in Christ that we have in several states and helping people, would teach them so much more.
What’s been the reaction of others? Most of our close friends have been very supportive of our decision to move again. We cannot believe the people we have found through our friendships that either have a home paid off or will be debt free in 5 years. God has shown us so many confirmations about this.
I was going to keep this all quiet until the home sold and we would be on our way one last time. But, it has been becoming more increasingly awkward in trying to answer the question, “How do you like your new home?” While we did lose all of our pictures except for some I uploaded to put the home on the market, I will probably try to avoid showing much on the recreational side of this home. While we do some fishing in the Summer and do enjoy that, we are grieving over not having the farm we have grown so accustomed to. We do have a barn and some good acreage here, there are rattlesnakes here… a lot of them. Wasps are so terrible here that the children have been stung several times by stepping on a hole on the ground. It is just not safe or feasible to farm here in the way that we are used to.
So, we will wait and try to be patient. I have little patience right now. My husband and I are still grieving and will be grieving over our decision to buy this home until we are gone. We will then begin to live the rest of our days in a manner that the Lord has shown us. We are so excited about this. We finally know after 7 years when we first put our home on the market in Washington, what God wants us to do with our lives.
Please be graceful with your words. We are very sensitive on this topic. We know that God gives some people great things or houses to enjoy – it’s all over the Bible. We don’t have a problem with others living as we are right now. It’s just that the Lord doesn’t want it for “our family.” And that’s okay. Thank you for listening…
I’m sorry that we may not have the farm pictures, etc… on this blog that you all are accustomed to. Please pray that God will move us quickly while the children are still young.