Is It Okay To Make Mistakes?

This will be one of the hardest posts to write but also the most important post I will probably ever write on this blog. It has to do with our past and our future, our mistakes and the vision the Lord has given us. How do I start? I will just start with the truth and then explain.

We have been on a journey the past 2 years with selling our farm in Washington, buying a home in Iowa to finding ourselves selling it a year later and returning to Washington to buy a home on a lake. My husband and I have made our biggest mistake in our marriage together in doing all of this. Thank God it was a big mistake together and not against each other like adultery. But, it’s still a big mistake. The Lord has shown us these past months that He wanted us to buy a very modestly priced home. It was His plan from the beginning and He gave us another opportunity after buying the home in Iowa to do so.

I don’t know any other way to say it than I am so ashamed and embarrassed to be in this home. It is not us.  It does not represent who we are on the inside.  I always felt we lived in homes that were a bit too much for us anyways, this one only brings me shame. Shame because we could be helping so many people in dire situations if we didn’t live in this home. I cannot tell you the people that we love that God has shown us we could be helping right now. It hurts us very much. We have come to a place over these months without the internet or distractions that the most important thing in our lives until the end is to help others and do some small family farming. I believe God has given us a spirit of giving. I have never felt such an urgency to want to go and help my brothers and sisters in Christ as I do now. It is a beautiful feeling but it has an urgency to it that cannot be fulfilled here.

God has given us an opportunity with this home to be able to live the vision and dream that He has put before us in helping others. The owner of this home had the home listed at one time for nearly 4 times of what we paid for it. He had potential buyers for this home but loved the home so much we have been told, that he did not want to sell it. He would chase the buyers away. We are going to sell this home for double of what we paid for it. We will then in turn be able to buy a home cash, paid off with no mortgage ever again, with the profit. We know the home will sell because we know for certain the Lord is in it.

One day last October while my husband was downstairs, he shared that the Lord told him what to sell the home for. He said that if I said the same price, He would know for sure it was from the Lord. I shared the price that had been on my mind all morning and he shouted, “That’s exactly it.” We both rejoiced because we needed to really know the Lord was in it. God has given us many other confirmations that this is His will for us and our children.

I want to share a verse the Lord gave me one day a few months ago about us buying this home:

“Woe to him that coveteth an evil covetousness to his house, that he may set his nest on high, that he may be delivered from the power of evil! Thou hast consulted shame to thy house by cutting off many people, and hast sinned against thy soul. For the stone shall cry out of the wall, and the beam out of the timber shall answer it.” Hab 2:9-11

God showed us that we wanted to be delivered from the inconveniences in life in buying this home. We thought it would be practical with it’s size and the children could spread out here and give us rest. In buying this home we have cut off many people that God wanted us to help. Living in a modestly priced home would teach our children so much more. They would learn things that are priceless compared to us living here. Visiting our brothers and sisters in Christ that we have in several states and helping people, would teach them so much more.

What’s been the reaction of others?  Most of our close friends have been very supportive of our decision to move again. We cannot believe the people we have found through our friendships that either have a home paid off or will be debt free in 5 years. God has shown us so many confirmations about this.

I was going to keep this all quiet until the home sold and we would be on our way one last time. But, it has been becoming more increasingly awkward in trying to answer the question, “How do you like your new home?” While we did lose all of our pictures except for some I uploaded to put the home on the market, I will probably try to avoid showing much on the recreational side of this home. While we do some fishing in the Summer and do enjoy that, we are grieving over not having the farm we have grown so accustomed to. We do have a barn and some good acreage here, there are rattlesnakes here… a lot of them. Wasps are so terrible here that the children have been stung several times by stepping on a hole on the ground. It is just not safe or feasible to farm here in the way that we are used to.

So, we will wait and try to be patient. I have little patience right now. My husband and I are still grieving and will be grieving over our decision to buy this home until we are gone. We will then begin to live the rest of our days in a manner that the Lord has shown us. We are so excited about this. We finally know after 7 years when we first put our home on the market in Washington, what God wants us to do with our lives.

Please be graceful with your words. We are very sensitive on this topic. We know that God gives some people great things or houses to enjoy – it’s all over the Bible. We don’t have a problem with others living as we are right now. It’s just that the Lord doesn’t want it for “our family.” And that’s okay. Thank you for listening…

I’m sorry that we may not have the farm pictures, etc… on this blog that you all are accustomed to. Please pray that God will move us quickly while the children are still young.

Recent Events – More Pictures down below…

More pictures down below…. I lost some and will restore as time allows.

 

Hello everybody. I have had so many things to catch up on since coming back online. Thank you for your patience. While I would love to post many photos since moving here, I am sad to say that I can’t. In December, just before getting online again, my hard drive on my laptop went out. And no, I didn’t have a backup for all the pictures because I figured that having a Mac computer and not being online, I would not be susceptible to a virus. We lost all of our pictures. And we did send the computer to a place in Wenatchee to see if they could salvage the pictures at least. Fortunately, I really did not take a lot of pictures of our family this year. Very few compared to usual. So, I guess I will just start with where we are now. These pictures were taken over the last few weeks.

These past months that we’ve been offline, my husband and I have really gotten some direction from the Lord for our lives more than anytime since we’ve married. He has really shown us our purpose in life, our future as far as the steps He wants us to walk and has really woken us up to many things. It has been a very deep and humbling experience that I am not ready to share publicly just yet, but we’ve shared with a few close friends. We’ve been closer to the Lord separately and together since being married and see many things in life that we haven’t really seen before. We have really grown and grown up in a lot of ways this year. It has been truly life changing and very good. Please pray that He will continue His work in us. He is such a wonderful God. 054

Little Tabitha (the one who got the stitches)

060

By the way, our twins are 18 months old already. Can you believe it? I am having the time of my life with them at this age. They are so fun and cute and loving to be with. They are a true joy to my heart and have done my heart so good. I never thought I could love them so much! 085

Here the girls are taking the babies for a walk around the house.

091

Hannah playing with all 3 babies on her bed.

094

Leah, 4 years old now and still just a cutie.

106

Tabitha (left) and Anna.

111

116

Dad with his warm eyes holding Anna & Tabitha.

120

Hannah and Elisabeth (Pup). Pup, you look just like your brother Matthew here. You two have the exact same expression.  : )

123

Elisabeth is doing so good with her reading and school work. She makes it seem hopeful that we can actually home school all of these kids. 

136

Hannah – She loves the Lord so much. We believe she is already saved. She loves going and praying to the Lord by herself and she sings and says things that only one who has the Holy Spirit in them could possibly say. She being a child has such child like faith, she wishes Jesus could sleep next to her in her bed at night.

137

Leah – You are still so radiant. This little girl has the softest voice.

151

Tabitha trying to figure out a new toy from our neighbor.

155

161

Elisabeth feeding the twins some eggs.

165

The girls received a dollhouse, a beautiful tea set as well as some other toys from our neighbor last month. Her grandchildren are getting too old to play with them so she blessed the kids so much with her generosity.

178

Daddy reading the kids a story before bedtime.

189

Babies stealing food off of each other’s trays.  I have to keep their highchairs apart from one another now.

195

Little girls running around197 199 201 Daddy and little Tabitha206 Leah, Hannah and Miriam

220

Miriam looking at the funny camera

221

2 year old Miriam

225

228

001

Baby Tabitha’s Stitches

077

Little 18 month cutie, a couple of weeks ago.

242

Poor baby  : (

It’s been an emotional week. After being offline for 7 months, I guess I will start the first post with what is on the forefront of my mind – my baby. Just three days ago, little Tabitha tripped over her daddy’s feet and landed hard on the leg of our kitchen table. Think 8″ butcher block with a soft edge (not too soft as you see). When I heard the thud, I cringed at where she could have landed. She hit so hard that her forehead was dented in. It barely bled, but then started to open up. It was gruesome looking and though I don’t normally panic with emergencies, I panicked because she’s my baby. I didn’t know if she was going to go unconscience – she just didn’t look well. I didn’t know whether to call 911 or our neighbor. I called our dear neighbor and she drove us to the emergency room while I just held her in my lap.

I will spare many of the details of the procedure. It was just so awful to see her in so much pain while they administered the shots in that area. It upset me that while I understand they needed to wrap her in a sheet to constrain her, she was wearing a shirt, a turtleneck and a sweater. I knew she was sweating, hot and very thirsty. She kept crying, “wader” for water. I knew it would be over soon but it all took 45 minutes until she fell asleep exhausted while he was still stitching her up. I’ll send my husband to the ER next time. It was too much for this mommy. I’m still trying to recover. I cried off and on the rest of the night for her after I got home. She’s doing just fine now, running and scaring the wits out of me.  I still feel awful. But, I just feel so much closer to her. I love her and our children so much, they are so dear to me. Such a little incident just brings the love out all the more.