Well, here I am in my last week in the 20’s (not my age mind you, I’m nearly 40!). I will be 30 weeks in just a week. I can’t believe it! I’m just now starting to feel good since giving birth last November. Whew, it’s hard but I know the time is short. Right now little Leah is 3+ lbs according to an ultrasound I had recently. Another big baby! We changed her middle name from Leah Hadassah to Leah Miriam. I’ve always seen Leah as very feminine and I think Miriam fits just fine. I’ve had worries about her from the beginning though. I had an abdominal CAT scan done before I knew I was pregnant with her. I’ve had a little bleeding a couple of times lately and have a bit of a low lying placenta. But, all is looking really good from my extra ultrasounds and appointments. And I can’t tell you how good it feels to feel good again. Just a month ago I would be back in bed at 9:30 in the morning and would sleep a good hour. Then to fall asleep again at 1:30 in the afternoon. I was really worried that I may not ever have my energy or health back. Last night I wrote something in response to a woman going through struggles with continuing on having children. She feels the Lord leading her to continue on after six but is feeling tired and overwhelmed. Here’s my view and experience on the situation as I go through these same feelings too. I need to put this on here as a reminder to myself when I am having doubts. The Lord was with me when I wrote this and I thank the LORD God Almighty. I love Him so.
“I go one day at a time, one pregnancy at a time and one baby at a time. I can’t do it any other way. This reminds me of my courtship with my husband. We did not sleep together before marriage and both have promiscuous pasts. We took moment by moment and day by day. If we had known we would have had to wait 2 1/2 years before marriage, we would have “felt” defeated and would have just slept together for relief. We kissed on the day we married. Same with leaving fertility in God’s hands… if we look at how long we may have to bear children still we just can’t do it! But, if we look to the Lord moment by moment, situation by situation we will find a few more years have gone by and see the joys in it. We never know what God’s plans are… I don’t know your age but let’s say you’re 26 and thinking you have many, many more years of childbearing left. You may only have 1 or 2 more children… we’ve all seen it. I’m nearly 40 and having a child every year. It scares me sometimes but I know God may close the womb after this one. I don’t know God’s plans for my womb or life as He does.
So, if you really feel this is God’s plan and don’t want to look back with regret, take it pregnancy by pregnancy, day by day, baby by baby. Try not to make decisions during the really hard times or you’ll find you won’t have peace that’s long lasting. For me if I make a decision when I am not emotional and things are really doing/looking good, and I’ve prayed about it, I have peace about it.
I know it’s really, really hard. I and so many here do understand FULLY! Don’t forget to look to the Lord, He will guide you and give you peace in this place all your days. Take care…”