I thought I was going to find out this morning that our baby was no longer with us. Let me back up…
Last week I went in to be checked for a uterine infection as I’ve had cramps since having Matthew. I knew I was pregnant, but the doctor couldn’t tell upon examination. He shared that it could be too early. He ordered blood work that day and then another draw the next week to see if the hcg levels were rising (this is what causes the nausea until the placenta kicks in at 12 weeks or so). Today I spoke to the nurse and she share that they like to see the numbers higher than they are and could I come in for an ultrasound? I was in town as me and Elisabeth had just gone shopping so I showed up at 11:00 for my ultrasound. As I waited in the waiting room I had tears in my eyes, especially because this morning I got angry and said, “I just wish I wasn’t pregnant right now.” The situation sure did change my mind and heart so in a way I’m glad it did happen.
I went in to the ultrasound and saw what looked like the baby. She said, “You’re definately pregnant”! I asked if the baby was alive. She found the heartbeat a moment later and recorded it at 180 bpm. I was so happy and still am. It looks like I’m due November 5th. Matthew was due around the 1st last November so it looks like they’ll be a year apart! Now I just hope it’s another boy!!! What a beautiful day.
One more thing… I found the reason for my cramps during the ultrasound. They are from an ovarian cyst that will go away once the placenta takes over. Sometimes the ovary will leave a cyst after releasing the egg. It is pretty common and will go away in about a month when the placenta takes over. The doctor shared with me that it’s a good thing… the cyst actually nourishes the pregnancy early on. Interesting! So, today I’m 8 weeks, 6 days pregnant with our 4th child. We have always believed the Lord would bless us with 5 children, now we are believing it could be more and hope so. There’s nothing more we desire than to have a large family. Our reading a couple of years ago on a chapter on birth control in a book by pastor John R. Rice “THE HOME Courthship, Marriage and Children”, opened our eyes to the beauty of having a large family. I remember I couldn’t sleep that night after reading the chapter. I spoke to my husband the next morning and he had just read it too and saw the beauty in having lots of children as well. It’s part of God’s plan. It’s life and it’s beautiful! I thank God I’m finally with a man who really, really loves me regardless of how much weight I may put on in these upcoming years or the tears of weariness and frustration that I cry. The sorrows of pains of injustice that are behind me. Job lost it all but God blessed his latter days and he had double. God’s promises are true. But it isn’t a free gift, there is always great cost and great sufferings in a Christian’s life. But moreso joy. May the Lord strengthen us for what’s ahead and continue to bless us that we may continue to bless others. Amen.